COMMENTARY: How to build a winning relationship in the digital age

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Find opportunities — and win them.

BD expert Nic Coppings writes that there is a connection crisis in today's market because too many people lean on digital tools instead of the personal touch.

One poor relationship can cost your team millions in lost awards. While your competitors obsess over pricing and capabilities, they are missing what truly drives decisions: the human connection.

In a world of customer relationship management systems, automation, and artificial intelligence, we've mastered digital connectivity but lost the art of developing winning relationships that win and grow contracts.

The harsh reality? Contracts don't fail on price or technical merit; they fail on misunderstanding, assumptions, and poor relationships. If you're a chief growth officer, ask yourself: Is your team just engaging or truly connecting and developing winning relationships with your customers?

The Digital Disconnect

In our quest for speed and scalability, we've replaced empathy, trust, and authentic connection with CRM automation and AI tools. John, a business development professional, admits he can't recall his last meaningful conversation with a client. Instead, his interactions are a stream of emails, Zoom calls, and CRM automated follow-ups.

The Hidden Cost of Convenience

The Microsoft "goldfish study" revealed that humans now have an average attention span of 8 seconds. While we've mastered efficiency and multitasking, we've lost the ability to connect deeply. Growth officers must ask themselves:

  • Are we relying too heavily on automation at the expense of building trust?
  • Are we showing our clients they matter, or do we treat them like just another revenue source?

The Value of Human Connection

Imagine losing a multimillion-dollar contract—not because of pricing or technical capability, but because the client felt unimportant. One tech entrepreneur confessed, "In our desire to be efficient and leverage technology, we totally forgot to be human."

For government contracting teams, this failure is avoidable. Building winning relationships can strengthen client trust, uncover hidden opportunities, and win more contracts.

According to Harvard Business Review, organizations prioritizing emotional intelligence and authentic relationship-building outperform their competitors by up to 25%. Why? Because people want to engage with people they know, like, and trust, especially when they make them feel seen and heard.

Building Authentic Connections

Whether meeting clients or building professional relationships, people want to be seen, heard, and valued. Here's how to create meaningful connections:

1.         Active Listening: Go beyond hearing words to understanding emotions and underlying needs. Echo what you've heard to show understanding. A financial advisor transformed his relationships by taking notes during meetings and beginning each follow-up with, "Last time, you mentioned [specific detail]..." His client retention increased by 40%.

2.         Ask Thoughtful, Open-Ended Questions: Show curiosity about others' perspectives and experiences. When you show you're engaged and invested in their success, you'll break down barriers and encourage them to open up, which helps build a foundation of trust. A consultant landed his biggest client by spending the first meeting asking questions about their business history and vision rather than pitching his services.

3.         Be Transparent and Honest: If you don't know, admit it. When a tech startup CEO openly shared his company's challenges with his team, employee trust scores increased by 65%, and problem-solving became collaborative.

Rebuilding Relationships in a Digital Era

The GovCon market doesn't reward those who automate their way through relationships. It rewards those who take the time to connect deeply. In doing so, you won't just win contracts—you'll build relationships that last a lifetime.

Winning relationships are characterized by the quantity of conversations and whether your customers view those conversations to be of value. Trust allows you to better understand client needs and preferences.

As a result, it makes every conversation that follows much more effective, productive, and value-driven for both parties.

Take the Connection Challenge: For the next week, change one daily digital interaction into a human one. Replace a text with a call, turn a video meeting into a coffee chat, or write a thoughtful note instead of sending an emoji.

Ready to start? Your next winning relationship is just one conversation away.


As Senior Partner at Hi-Q Group, Nic Coppings brings over 20 years of experience in the Government market, helping organizations secure billions in contract wins. Our training programs transform customer engagement, equipping your whole customer-facing team with the skills to build Winning Relationships® that drive growth. Ready to stop guessing and start winning? Learn how the Hi-Q Training can transform your team. Schedule a time to chat here.