BELTWAY BIZ

A New Enterprise: New Enterprise Associates, Baltimore's venture capital behemoth, will announce a Reston outpost for its technology team, led by Peter Barris and Art Marks, who need a Northern Virginia transom to accommodate the deal flow.

BOTI Beautiful: "Best Web Site Design Award" at the First BOTI Awards (that's Business On The Internet, for the unwired) was created by Proxima Inc., McLean, Va., for Owens Corning.

In the Top 100: Syscom Services CEO Betsy Markey and President Jim Kelly broke out the champagne when the Inc. magazine 500 rankings put them at No. 99.

Resurrections: CEO Sterling Williams of Sterling Software told the Alex. Brown High-Tech Conference that when his company acquired Reston, Va.-based Systems Center, it thought virtual memory was dead. "So did Systems Center," he added. But the legacy lingers on and business is actually growing. Other luminaries present were Michael Dell of Dell Computer; Paul Brands of American Management Systems; Mike Pascoe of Newbridge Networks; Chuck Stein of Netrix; and MicroStrategy's Michael Saylor, who will keynote the Northern Virginia Technology Council dinner Oct. 30.

Tech Humor: The apocalypse was at hand and the heavenly press agent decided to leak the news to three humans: Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates, giving them a week to prepare their troops. Clinton immediately called his cabinet. "I have good news and bad news," he announced grimly. "The good news is that there is a god. The bad news is, God's really mad and plans to end the world in a week." "Comrades," joined in Yeltsin, "I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that we were wrong: there is a god after all. The worse news is God's mad and is going to end the world in a week."

Meanwhile, Bill Gates called a meeting of his top engineers. "I have good news and better news," the mogul announced. "The good news is that God considers me one of the three most influential men on Earth," he beamed. "The better news is we don't have to fix Windows 95."